


I'm alright, it's alright. It's just a broken heart - 30 Day Fic Challenge

by Ilmare_Ilse



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: 30dayfic, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Season/Series 05 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-13
Updated: 2015-02-24
Packaged: 2018-03-07 08:43:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 11,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3168656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ilmare_Ilse/pseuds/Ilmare_Ilse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Danny trying to deal with the aftermath of Matt's death.</p><p>Inspired by the elements from 30 day fic, it will be written a little bit every day... Hopefully!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Time

**Author's Note:**

> Don't mind me, just let me be  
> My eyes so far away  
> I don't need no sympathy  
> The word gets overplayed
> 
> I'm alright, it's just tonight  
> I can't play the part  
> I'm alright, it's alright  
> It's just a broken heart.
> 
> Don't have eyes for the world outside  
> They're closed and turned within  
> Trying to find a light inside  
> It's there and growing dim
> 
> I'm alright, it's just tonight  
> I can't play the part  
> I'm alright, it's alright  
> It's just one broken heart... 
> 
> Broken Heart - Eddie Vedder

Danny shouldn’t really be surprised at this point, but as usual time was playing against him.

It happened when Billy drowned, when Grace was shot right in front of him, when Matt left.

Time had never been on Danny’s side, and as he drove like a maniac through the streets of Honolulu, he hoped and prayed that this time he wouldn’t be too late, again.


	2. Water

As it always happened in these kinds of situations, what should have been a 10-15 minute trip felt like hours to Danny, but finally he made it to the Marina. He came to a sudden stop near the place he had been instructed, and rushed out of the car, searching anxiously for the people that were waiting for him.

He found the man by the end of a small pier. He was standing with an arm wrapped around the shoulders of a shorter figure, and even from the distance Danny could see the soft tremors running through the smaller body. Danny was certain that dark hood covering the person’s face wasn’t helping in any way. He barely even noticed the dark clouds overhead or the strong wind that made the waves around the small pier break with even bigger strength.

Danny walked purposefully, keeping his hands in the air, showing that he was unarmed, but nothing would keep him away from the most important person in his world.

The other man noticed Danny’s approach, and lifted his free hand to show that he was armed. “Not so fast, Detective… We have some business to attend before you can have your happy reunion…” He said loudly with a thick accent, trying to be heard over the sound of the ocean.

Danny stopped in his tracks, lifting his hands high. “I’m here now, I’ll do whatever the hell you want, just let her go…” He said pleadingly, not really caring what this man wanted from him.

The small figure shifted nervously when she heard Danny’s voice, turning to the general direction where the voice was coming from. “Danno?” she asked in a small, scared voice.

The terrified tone cut Danny like a knife, and he rushed to reassure his little girl. “I’m here Monkey… Don’t worry, everything is going to be ok…” He said, hoping to sound convincing.

The other man chuckled darkly, shaking his head in amusement. “I wouldn’t be too sure about that, Williams. Not unless you do what I ask…” He said, giving Danny a challenging look.

Danny barely restrained himself from rushing at the guy, knowing that his chances of getting Grace away from him would be slim. “Ok, so what is it that you want, huh?” He growled, his patience running thinner by the second.

The man’s sudden smile made the hairs at the back of Danny’s head stand on end. “What your brother still owes me… 18,5 million dollars.” He said.

Danny stood dumbfounded for a second, and once the shock wore off he started shaking his head desperately. “No… We took that money to Colombia, I don’t have it anymore…” He said in a frightened voice.

The man seemed to consider Danny’s answer and shook his head with a sigh. “That’s a shame, really…” He said, scratching his chin with a thoughtful expression. “A real shame, because I don’t believe you. But I’m a reasonable man, so I’m going to give you another chance. I want my money back…” He said seriously.

Danny couldn’t hear anything over the roar in his ears. He kept trying to think on some way to get some money, but no matter what, he couldn’t come up with a solution. Still, he needed to do something. “Listen, I don’t have the money right now, but I’ll come up with something, ok? I just need a little time!” He said desperately.

The man shook his head in regret. “You know, that’s a shame… I hate to have to do this…” He said, grabbing Grace’s arm roughly and pushing her over the railing and into the rough waters below.


	3. Tree

Danny rushed to the railing and looked down, desperately hoping to see Grace, but found only dark water instead. “GRACE! GRACE!” He yelled.

He placed his foot on the railing, intending to jump into the water and save his girl, but suddenly many hands took hold of his arms, pulling him away from the water. “NO! LET ME GO! GRACE! GRACE!!” He screamed, knowing that her time was running out.

He could hear the man’s voice, taunting him. “This is your fault, Detective… You did this…” He said.

* * *

 

Danny suddenly bolted upright, a scream echoing in his ears. He was in his living room, with the TV showing some random infomercial and the Christmas tree occupying half of the room. He looked around, shaking from head to toe, trying to understand what was going on.

It took him some minutes, but he finally managed to convince himself that it all had really been a terrible dream. Still, he couldn’t shake the feeling of the hands holding on to him, or the image of a bound Grace being thrown into the water.

He moved to the bathroom, splashing some water in his face and drinking a few sips. He didn’t bother to look in the mirror anymore; the pale, gaunt face that looked back at him never did anything to improve the nightmares.

Ever since Marco Reyes made an appearance, Danny’s nights became a succession of nightmares. At first they were about Matt being tortured and killed, calling for help, in all of them Danny failed to save his little brother, but ironically, Danny never dreamt about a barrel. The reality turned out much worse than anything Danny could have ever imagined.

After that, it was mostly about barrels, Matt crying out for help and blaming Danny for being too late. It was only recently that the money started making an appearance. Danny had gotten used to people coming after Grace in his worst nightmares, but having them coming after Grace because of that money was a recent development.

He shook himself, knowing that dwelling on the nightmare wouldn’t help in any way.Deciding that he probably wouldn’t get any more sleep this night, he moved to the kitchen, poured himself a big cup of coffee and settled on the couch.

He took the remote and put on a random game, willing himself to stay awake. The game was an old one, and Danny was far too exhausted to pay attention, so in order to distract himself he started looking at the Christmas tree.

It was already mid-january, and just as it had taken him until the last minute to gather the will to put up a Christmas tree, now that Grace had gone to visit her mom, Danny couldn’t really bother to take the tree off.

Grace would be back in a week, and Danny would make sure to get rid of it before then, or if it started to stink, but right now he barely had the energy to get up every morning and show up at work.

Focusing back in the game, Danny did his best to keep his eyes from closing. There was no use in trying to sleep, since he knew another god damned nightmare would surely wake him in less than an hour.

Apparently the coffee wasn’t working as it used to, since pretty soon Danny found himself closing his eyes, his chin dropping to his chest and soft snores leaving his mouth. He didn’t even have time to hope for dreamless sleep before he was out.


	4. Eyes

The following morning, Steve, Kono, Lou and Chin were reviewing some files in the smart table when Danny walked in through the doors. Steve had been checking his watch for the last 20 minutes, so he was relieved when Danny appeared.

His relief was short lived when he took a good look at his partner. Danny’s face was unshaven and pale, and his hair looked unusually messy. What worried Steve the most was his partner’s eyes. Danny’s eyes were bloodshot, sporting dark circles under them that almost seemed like bruises.

Danny didn’t seem to notice the scrutiny, just waving a quick greeting and moving towards the table. “Hey guys, do we have a new case?” He asked, looking at the files displayed on the computer.

Chin shook his head. “No brah, we’re reviewing some files from the Prater Case. The DA is in a bit of a rush, so he asked for these reports to be sent by noon.” He said, his expression growing concerned at the sight of Danny.

Danny once again didn’t notice the attention, his eyes still fixed on the screen. He blinked a couple of times, shaking himself. “Ok… I’ll just grab a coffee and get on with some paperwork then…” He muttered, moving to the kitchen and then to his office, closing the door.

The four remaining teammates looked at each other and then back towards Danny’s office. Lou was the first one to voice his opinion. “This has gone long enough, man… Either you start doing something, or I will…” He told Steve, nodding in the direction of Danny’s office.

Steve sighed worriedly. “I know man… I’ll take him home, see if he feels like talking. I’ll see how it goes and we’ll go from there, ok?”

The other ones nodded. “Good luck, Boss.” Said Kono as Steve moved towards Danny’s office.

* * *

Danny was staring into his computer, not really seeing anything. After he’d fallen asleep for the second time the previous night he was woken by another nightmare barely an hour later, and after that he had just wandered through his house, doing laundry, cleaning up Grace’s room for the hundredth time and trying to find things to keep him busy and awake until it was time to go to work.

He jumped a bit when Steve came into his office and started to pretend like he was working on something in his computer. “Yeah?” He asked, leaning back in his seat and crossing his arms over his chest.

“The governor wants to meet with us. Let’s go…” Steve said, motioning for Danny to move.

Danny gathered his badge and his gun and followed Steve out of the office. “The Governor? What does he want now?” He asked as he moved to the passenger seat of the Camaro.

“He wants to review some budget reports with us.” Steve said, glad that Danny was letting him drive without too much fuss.

“I thought he usually reviewed those with you…” Danny asked, settling in the passenger seat and leaning against the door to look at Steve’s face.

Steve just shrugged, turning the car on and moving out of the parking lot. “Well, apparently he thinks I could use some of your guidance…”

Danny just chuckled, shaking his head in amusement. “Him and the rest of the island, it seems…” He said, settling more comfortably against the seat. He frowned when his eyes started closing on their own accord, but he was far too exhausted to care right then. He finally closed his eyes, slumping lower in his seat and resting his forehead on the window, his breaths slow and regular.

Steve leaned forward to look at Danny, shaking his head. With a worried sigh he turned at the following corner, heading towards his place. 


	5. Belief

Steve parked in a shady spot outside of his place and left the engine running, not wanting Danny to wake when the car stopped. Once he was certain that Danny was deeply asleep, he turned the car off and settled in to wait Danny out.

Steve was ready to stay in the car for a good couple of hours, knowing that Danny could use whatever sleep he could get. He checked a few emails on his phone and once he was done he started playing one of those games that Gracie had installed on his phone to pass the time. He was unpleasantly surprised when less than half an hour after they had parked, Danny started moving restlessly in his seat.

Steve hoped that his partner would just twitch a bit and then go back to sleep, but Danny just kept getting more agitated. When a frightened whimper left Danny’s lips, Steve jumped out of his seat and moved to the passenger’s side, opening the door and reaching out to unlock Danny’s seatbelt.

Danny seemed caught in a truly horrific nightmare. So while Steve knew he was risking getting punched in the face, he really wanted to get Danny out of whatever had him trapped inside his head. He took Danny’s shoulder and shook him. “Danno, wake up… You’re safe, it’s ok…” He said gently.

Danny struggled for a minute, but then he opened his eyes and looked frantically around him. When he realized he was in the car, and that Steve was looking at him, he bolted out of the car, pushing his partner away.

Steve watched in concern as Danny stumbled out of the car and moved quickly towards the back of his place. He followed him, intending to make his friend see reason and open up about what was going on, but he stopped in his tracks at the sight of Danny sitting on a corner of the Lanai, curled up with his head in his hands, shaking from head to toe.

Steve had been working all of this time on the belief that Danny was grieving, but still keeping a handle of things. Looking at his partner right then, Steve realized that he couldn’t have been more wrong.


	6. Knife

Steve shook his head sadly and moved closer to Danny, sitting at his partner’s side and placing his hand on his back, lending his support without really saying anything.

It took Danny a few minutes to get himself together, but even then he didn’t move from his position on the floor, sitting with his back against the wooden railing and his head in his hands. He lifted his head after a couple of minutes and looked at the sea by the end of the beach. “What are we doing here? You said we had a meeting with the Governor, we were supposed to go there, and you were supposed to wake me up when we got there, which should have been less than 10 minutes, and not long enough for this to happen…” He said in a flat voice.

Steve looked down at his feet, not looking forward to Danny’s reaction when he told him the truth. “Well, there wasn’t really a meeting. I was worried about you and I thought you needed a break, and maybe to talk to someone… I’m sorry I lied to you, Danno…”

Danny didn’t seem to react to Steve’s words, so Steve took that as a good sign. “Do you want to talk about what’s going on with you?” Steve asked, leaning forward to try to catch his friend’s face.

Danny still wouldn’t look at Steve. “Nothing’s going on with me. I just had a rough night.” Danny said in the same flat voice.

Steve shook his head, chuckling in disbelief. “Ok, nothing’s going on with you, everything’s just fine, right? How was your trip to Jersey then? Did your mom have a nice birthday?” He asked, lifting his eyebrows.

Danny looked down at his feet, not really taking Steve’s bait as he’d expected. “I… Ma didn’t really felt like celebrating her birthday, so I didn’t really go…” He said with a small shrug.

Steve frowned, growing even more concerned. Danny had taken a whole week off from work to go back to Jersey, so it was really a shock to hear that Danny had not travelled after all. “You didn’t go? What the hell did you do for the whole week?” He asked in surprise.

Danny jumped a bit at Steve’s tone, but still would not look at his partner. “I stayed at my place…”Danny said quietly with a small shrug.

Steve passed a hand roughly down his face, not really sure how to deal with his friend right then. It was as if he’d brought a knife to a gunfight, and a very blunt, crooked and small knife at that. Still, he was never one to back off from a fight, so he wouldn’t back off from this one. He stood up with a worried sigh, offering his hand to Danny. “Come on, buddy. We gotta talk… You want a beer? or maybe something stronger?” He asked gently.

Danny finally looked at Steve, but it was more out of surprise than actually wanting to look at him. “It’s 10 am…” He said.

Steve shrugged. “It’s not like we’re going back to the office, and we’re not exactly going to have a pleasant talk, so I figured some booze might help…”

Danny accepted Steve’s help up and followed him with a tired chuckle. “Alright, lead the way. I won’t make any promises about talking, but I won’t say no to a beer right now…” He said, for the first time in the day sounding a little bit like the Danny Steve knew.


	7. Argument

Danny followed Steve into the house and planted himself on the couch while Steve went to get their beers. While he waited, Danny picked up the remote and put on a game, knowing that he would need the distraction to stay awake.

He jumped a bit when Steve came back and placed a sandwich and a bottle of water in front of him. He frowned, looking at Steve for an explanation. “Whatever happened to the beer?”

Steve shook his head with a chuckle. “Well, if you can tell me with a straight face that your diet for the last week has consisted on anything other than coffee, booze and maybe a malasada here and there, then I’ll be happy to bring you as many beers as you want.” He said, standing by the couch with his arms crossed over his chest.

Danny just glared at his partner and started picking at his sandwich. “It’s not like I wanted to starve myself, you know. I just haven’t been hungry, that’s all…” He said with a shrug.

Steve sighed. “Yeah… I totally get it, and it has nothing to do with all of the alcohol and the coffee turning your stomach lining into mush.” He said with a shake of his head. “Can you for once in your life not start an argument and just eat the damn sandwich? I didn’t even put pineapple on it to bust your balls. It’s a plain pastrami sandwich, with a little bit of mustard. It’s not a live grenade or something like that, it’s just a sandwich!”

Danny just gave Steve an annoyed look and took the sandwich. Once he had a couple of bites he started to realize that he’d really been starving, not that he’d admit that to his partner. After he was done he drank the water and leaned back to look at his partner. “Ok, can I have the beer now? Please?”

Steve moved back to the kitchen with a long suffering groan. “Alright, alright. A beer coming!”

Steve came back and handed Danny his beer, sitting at his partner’s side. Danny took the beer and took a long swig. “Thank you, finally!” He said.

Steve nodded, lifting his beer to clink it against Danny’s. “You’re very welcome, buddy…” He said, taking a drink of his own. He put the beer down and turned to look at Danny face to face. “Alright Danno… Time to start talking…” He said in a no nonsense tone.

Danny gave Steve an aggravated look. “Seriously? I can’t believe a man can’t just have a beer in peace now…” He said with a shake of his head, waving his hands around as he started to rant.


	8. Winter

Steve waited patiently for Danny to end his rant. Once he was done he put his beer down and looked at his partner seriously. “Alright Danno. You done? Can we talk about what’s going on with you now?”

Danny placed his empty bottle on the coffee table as well with a measured move. “There’s nothing going on with me…” He said quietly, looking down at his knees.

Steve sighed, concerned. “Ok, so you don’t think that staying at your place all alone for a whole week and not getting any sleep through that time is at least a bit unusual?”

Danny looked up at his friend with a frown on his face. “Who said I didn’t get any sleep? I got sleep!” He said, not sounding too convincing.

Steve gave him an incredulous look. “Yeah, you’re right. You probably crashed a time or two, but I don’t believe that you got any sleep voluntarily...” He said gently.

Danny looked away, passing a nervous hand through his hair. “Ok… I’ve been having some trouble sleeping, some nightmares… It’s nothing out of the ordinary and nothing I shouldn’t be able to handle by myself…” He said in a quiet voice.

Steve nodded, not looking too convinced. “Alright, what about the other thing? Why didn’t you call me to tell me you were not going to Jersey after all? Why spend the whole week alone?” He asked.

Danny shrugged, lifting his hand to rub his forehead in a nervous gesture. “I don’t know, ok? Last year when I went to Jersey my Dad had just gotten the Corvette, he was being an ass to Ma, it was a cold, horrible winter and we were all worried after not knowing anything from Matt for so long, bus still with all of that, Ma felt like celebrating her birthday.” He said, sounding confused.

“Now, now she’s heartbroken, and I know that the last thing in her mind would be to celebrate her birthday, but I thought she’d be glad to have everyone around… The fact that she didn’t want me to come makes me doubt that maybe she’s thinking that what happened to Matt is my fault…” He said quietly, lifting his hands to hug himself in an unconscious gesture.

Steve moved closer, placing his hand on Danny’s shoulder. “No, Danno… She couldn’t possibly blame you for what happened! She knows you did everything you could to get Matt back home!”

Danny finally lifted his eyes to look at his partner, but Steve hated what he saw in his eyes. “Did I? I didn’t do shit! I let him go, I was too much of a coward to actually do something and stop him from leaving! After the first year, I stopped looking for him! When Reyes showed up, I never asked for proof of life! Not once! I was a coward again! I didn’t want him to show me a photo of my brother’s body, and I sure as hell didn’t want him to threaten Grace, so I played along, and I dragged you and Chin into the whole mess!” Danny said, raising his voice and jumping from his seat to pace restlessly, counting with his fingers his perceived failures. He stopped suddenly, his fists balled at his sides. “And then, to make things better, I totally spaced out, and left you to deal with… with everything… I have no idea how you got me and… and the barrel out of there, and I have no clue what the hell happened to the money…” He said, much more quietly, shaking his head helplessly.

He looked up at Steve, a heartbroken expression on his face. “I did everything wrong, it got my brother killed, and put you and Chin in danger… And there isn’t anything I can do to fix any of it…” He said in a heartbroken voice.


	9. Love

Steve sat there, too stunned by Danny’s declaration to say anything for a minute. Danny on the other hand, seemed to realize what he’d just said and looked around in search of an escape route. “I gotta get out of here…” He muttered under his breath before he moved to the Lanai and out towards the beach.

Steve followed at a slower pace, knowing that he had Danny’s car keys, so at least Danny couldn’t take off in his car. He watched as Danny stumbled to the edge of the water, his arms wrapped tightly around himself and his shoulders rising and falling quickly. He didn’t seem to notice that the water was soaking his shoes and the bottom of his slacks.

Steve stood back for a few minutes, Giving Danny a moment to compose himself a bit. When Danny dropped his arms to his side and lowered himself to the sand, Steve moved slowly to his partner’s side, sitting on the wet sand right next to him.

Danny’s eyes were red and tear filled, but it didn’t look like he’d let any tear fall. He was looking intently at the sea, and sniffing a bit from time to time.

Steve was really at a loss on how to help his friend, but he couldn’t just sit here and do nothing, so he just started talking, hoping that it wouldn’t make things worse. “You know, there’s a lot of things I could tell you about guilt. About feeling that you didn’t do enough to save someone, and how they would be alive right now if you had done things differently. I told you a couple of weeks ago that I did the same thing with my Dad and with Freddie. I think I even did that when Mom faked her death! What I didn’t say was that no matter what other people said, I kept feeling like that until I figured out by myself that things could have still gone bad if I’d done something different, and that whatever it is I did at the time, it was because I thought I was making the best choice I could at the time.” He said quietly, deciding to look at the water as well, not wanting to force Danny to acknowledge his presence.

He was glad to feel Danny shifting at his side, not really looking at him, but listening at least. “I know you Danno, I saw you trying to come up with ways to help Matt turn himself in, and I know that you only let him go because you didn’t see any other option at the time…” He said gently.

Danny looked away. “There were plenty of more options! I should have done everything differently!” He said with a scoff.

Steve was quick to reply. “Hindsight is always 20-20, Danno… Right then you did the best you could…”

Danny kept looking away, swallowing heavily.

When Steve saw that Danny wasn’t contradicting him again, he moved to the other issue. “About the other thing, you know very well that your family loves you, Danno. They know you, better than anyone, and there’s no way they could blame you for what happened…”

Danny shook his head. “Maybe they should…” He said with a sniff.

Steve sighed in exasperation. “You know that’s not true, buddy…”

Danny’s shoulders started shaking, and he buried his face in his hands. “They keep doing it, they blame me, every time I close my eyes…“ He said in a rough voice.

Steve placed his arm over Danny’s shoulders, pulling him close. “I know Danno, but it’s not real. They love you, they know what really happened…” He said gently.

Danny leaned against his partner’s side, resting his head on Steve’s chest. “I… I just want it to stop…” He said brokenly.

Steve just held him, rubbing his back in comfort. “I know Danno… I know…” He said, hoping he’d find a way to help his friend.


	10. Chocolate

Steve and Danny sat like that for a few minutes, Danny leaning on his partner for support and Steve rubbing his back, trying to provide comfort.

Danny finally pulled away, using his hand and the sleeve of his shirt to clean his face. “Sorry about that.” He said quietly. Not looking at Steve’s face.

Steve patted him on the back. “Hey, there’s nothing to apologize, buddy.” He said gently.

Danny didn’t look too convinced, but he was distracted when he really took notice of their current position. “Steve? We are sitting in the water. My shoes and my slacks are wet…” He said in a confused tone.

Steve chuckled. “Yeah we are, Danno.” He said with a shrug.

“But my shoes are ruined. And you… You’re sitting in the water as well! Those damn boots are probably made of fish scales and you go in the water with them all the time, but why did we have to sit where my shoes would be ruined?!” Danny asked, half confused and half annoyed.

Steve shook his head, trying not to laugh. “You decided to sit out here, Danno. I just came over to keep you company.” He said in an amused tone.

Danny looked surprised by the turn of events, but Steve could see that the exhaustion was catching up to him. “Alright Danno. What do you say if we go inside, get you into some dry clothes and you take a nap?”

Danny turned to glare at Steve, but was interrupted by a huge yawn. “I don’t need a nap…” He said, frowning when Steve laughed.

“Ok Danno. Let’s go inside, you get a shower, change your clothes and if you’re really not tired, then we watch a game or something, what do you say?”

Danny didn’t look too convinced, but he nodded anyway. “Ok.” He said, moving to stand with a groan.

They moved inside and Steve led Danny to the bathroom so he could take a shower. He brought him some towels and a pair of track pants and a shirt.

Once Danny was done, he trudged wearily into the living room, using a towel to dry his hair, not really worried that it was standing in every direction. He seemed to perk up at the sweet smell coming out of a mug on the coffee table. “What’s that?” He asked, moving to sit in front of the mug.

Steve sat next to Danny, moving the mug closer to his partner. “You looked a bit cold, so I thought you’d like some hot chocolate. I didn’t find any marshmallows though; I think you ate the last of them the other day.” He said with a shrug.

Danny took the mug between his hands and took a small sip, letting the sweet flavor and the comforting warmth relax him little by little. Once he was done, he left the mug on the table and leaned back against the couch with a huge yawn.

Steve moved from his side, placed a pillow at one end of the couch and started pulling at Danny until he was lying on the couch, with his legs stretched. Danny groaned in annoyance, blinking tiredly. “Whatdda you doin’?! Tol’ you I didn’t wanna sleep! Can’t handle any more nightmares…” He mumbled quietly.

Steve just placed a light blanket over him. “Don’t worry Danno. I promise I’ll wake you before they get too bad, but you need to get some sleep. I’ll be right here buddy…”

Danny groaned in annoyance, but he didn’t have much of a choice anymore when exhaustion finally caught up with him. With a put upon sigh he closed his eyes and was dead to the world in a second.

Steve lowered the volume of the TV and settled on the recliner, ready to be the backup in case Danny had any more nightmares.

 

 


	11. Clothes

Steve kept watch for a couple of hours. He would gently shake Danny’s shoulder or rub his back if he noticed that his partner was starting to look distressed, but fortunately Danny didn’t wake at all through that time.

The sound of the phone buzzing in the table distracted Steve from his watch over Danny. He picked it up and moved to the kitchen, looking at the screen and seeing Chin’s name. “Hey Chin…” He said quietly.

_“Hey brah… How’s it going? Need a hand with Danny?”_ Chin asked in concern.

Steve sighed. “No thanks, man. We’re good… Danny’s going through a rough time, but at least he’s sleeping right now.”

_“I’m glad to hear that, it looked like he had a hard time back in Jersey.”_ Chin said.

“Well, he had a hard time, but not really in Jersey. Her mother asked him not to go, so he stayed at his place all week…” Steve said worriedly.

Chin was silent for a second. _“Alone? That’s not good brah…”_ He said in concern.

Steve nodded to himself. “Yeah, but he’s not alone now, and he won’t be for a while. Besides, I got him to sleep, so hopefully that’ll help some.”

Chin didn’t sound too convinced. _“You know it may not be enough, right?”_

Steve sighed again, passing a worried hand through his hair. “Yeah, I know. But we’ll cross that bridge if and when we have to.”

_“Alright, brah. Take as much time as you need, we have everything under control around here. Let me know if you need backup.”_ Chin said.

“Ok, thank you buddy. I’ll let you know how things go. Talk later.” Steve replied, cutting the call.

He moved back to the living room, finding Danny still sleeping soundly. He moved closer, trying to make sure that his partner was not too cold or too warm, and that he didn’t seem troubled in any way. Once he made sure, he looked around the room, looking for something to distract himself. He’d spent the last couple of hours practically staring at his own navel, and while he didn’t plan to leave Danny alone, he needed to move, and swimming or running were not an option.

Noticing the towel Danny had dropped on the floor, Steve picked it up, just now wondering what the man currently snoring on his couch had done with the rest of his waterlogged clothes.

He looked inside the bathroom and found Danny’s wet clothes thrown haphazardly around the small room. He picked them up, taking the shirt and underwear and throwing them into the washing machine, figuring that with any luck they would be clean and dry by the time Danny woke up. He left the slacks in a bag, not wanting to risk ruining them in the machine. Finally he picked up Danny’s shoes, gave them a quick rinse and left them outside to dry. Once they were dry he’d use the shoe polish he had for his good shoes. Hopefully they wouldn’t be ruined by the sea water.

He came back to the living room and found Danny still sleeping, so he picked the remote to find something else to watch on TV.

15 minutes later he was turning the TV off and sending a text to Chin, asking him if he could drop some files to his place, to check them while he was at home. Maybe some beers too, that would make the time pass quicker.


	12. Holiday

Steve had spent most of the afternoon checking some files that Chin had emailed him, but found himself fidgeting again once he was done. Danny didn’t seem to be disturbed by the sound of the TV, so Steve started surfing through the channels.

He found a movie of a guy with a horrible 80’s mullet, singing in what looked like an 80’s wedding. What scared Steve the most was the song the guy was singing, if you could call that singing.

_“Holidaaaaaaay… Celebraaaaate…”_ The guy sang in a pitiful voice.

_“If we took a holiday_  
Took some time to celebrate  
Just one day out of life  
It would be, it would be soooo niceeeee” The guy sang, almost in tears.

Steve was too distracted trying to figure out what the hell the movie was about to notice the soft knocks on the door. He was surprised to find Lou peeking through the door. “Steve? Can I come in?” He asked. At Steve’s nod, he moved into the living room, giving the TV and then Steve a strange look. “What the hell are you watching? For a minute I thought you were torturing Danny!”

Steve just rolled his eyes and changed the channel to a football game, looking curiously at the bags Lou brought with him. “Yeah, yeah. It was just a movie I think. Now what did you bring? Did you buy dinner?” He asked with an amused smile.

Lou rolled his eyes, taking the bags to the kitchen and coming back with two food containers and two forks for Steve and for himself. “Yeah, I brought you food and some beers. Chin said you were stuck in here, so I figured you may be hungry.” He said placing everything on the coffee table. “You think we should wake him? I bought some of that chicken that he likes…” He asked, nodding in the direction of Danny.

Steve stood up from the recliner. “Thanks Lou, this smells great! You sit here and I’ll get a chair for me…” He said, motioning for Lou to sit and moving to find a chair. “Don’t wake Danny, I think he needs the sleep more than anything else right now.” He said, coming back with the chair and sitting by the side of the couch.

Lou took a beer and the remote and started changing channels again, frowning at the volume of the TV. “How is it that he’s still sleeping with the sound so loud?” He asked, lowering the volume a bit.

Steve shrugged, looking at his friend to make sure that he was still asleep. “No idea. He’s used to it I guess. Always said that he slept better with the background noise of the TV instead of the sound of the ocean.”

“Really? So on top of everything else, he hates the sound of the ocean? Is there anything that this guy doesn’t hate?” Lou asked in amusement, sounding surprised.

Steve tensed at Lou’s comment. “Hey! You don’t know shit about Danny’s life, so I won’t have you judging him, especially at my place.” He said in a threatening tone, feeling the need to defend his friend while he couldn’t defend himself.

Lou lifted his hands. “Hey, sorry man, I didn’t mean anything by it… I know Danny hasn’t had it easy lately. I shouldn’t have said anything. Really, I’m sorry Steve.” He said, knowing that he had messed up.

Steve seemed to relax. “Yeah… ok. Sorry, didn’t mean to overreact. It’s just…” He said, trying to explain himself.

“You’re worried.” Lou finished for him.

Steve shrugged, looking at the still sleeping Danny. “Yeah…” He said with a tired sigh.

Lou looked at Danny as well. “He’ll be ok, Steve.” He said gently.

Steve nodded. “Yeah, I really hope so.”


	13. Alien

Danny opened his eyes and looked around in confusion. He was still lying on Steve’s couch and it was light outside. He could feel the smell of something good coming from the kitchen, but before he could go and take a look he needed to stop by the bathroom. Badly.

Once he was done with his business he washed his face and tried his best to tame his hair a bit, then he moved to the kitchen, ready for some food. “Hey… You didn’t have to cook, we could have ordered some takeout…” He cut himself off at the sight of pancakes and coffee and looked at Steve with a confused look on his face.

Steve smiled at Danny and placed a plateful of pancakes in front of him. “Hey Danno! How did you sleep?”

Danny still looked confused. “Ok, I guess… Why are you making breakfast? What time is it?” He asked softly.

Steve’s expression softened. “It’s 9 am Danny, you slept through the night.” He said gently.

Danny’s eyes widened. “9 am?! Then what the hell are we still doing here? We should be at the office already!” He said, looking around as if he expected his clothes to be waiting for him in the kitchen.

“What?” Steve asked, looking surprised.

Danny shook his head in annoyance, moving to the living room. “The office! Today is Tuesday, and while it may seem like an alien concept to you, people usually goes to the office on Tuesdays!” He said, looking for his clothes.

Steve followed him moving to stand in front of his friend. “No Danny, work is not really an alien concept to me, but it just happens that we’re not going to work today!” Steve said with a shrug.

Danny frowned. “We’re not going to work? Why the hell not?” He asked in a pissed off tone.

“Because you slept for about 20 hours and for some reason you still look like shit!” Steve snapped, matching Danny’s volume.

“And what the hell do you care, huh?” Danny said, sounding furious. “Now where the fuck did you put my clothes, huh?” He asked, still looking around the living room.

Steve shook his head, looking incredulous. “What do I care? I’m your friend! I’m your partner!” He yelled. “I’m also your boss, and if that’s not enough, I could check with the Governor and see if he agrees!” He said in softer voice, but not less dangerous. He moved to the laundry room, picking up Danny’s clothes and his shoes on the way back to the living room and dropped everything on the couch. There’s your stuff, I didn’t want to wash your pants, thought it’d be better to take them to the dry cleaners…” He said a bit more calmly, trying not to make things worse than they already were.

Danny looked at his neatly pressed shirt and his newly polished shoes. There was no trace of the dip on the ocean they’d taken the day before. He sighed tiredly, lifting his eyes to look at Steve. “I’m sorry babe, but I’m fine… Really.” He said, shaking his head in a helpless gesture.

Steve sighed as well. “Danny, all I’m saying is that you should rest one more day. I can drive you home and we can hang there or we can stay here. You get another good night of sleep and we go back to work tomorrow.” He said pleadingly.

Danny shook his head, breathing a soft chuckle. “You washed my clothes, fixed my shoes, now you made breakfast, and even though I’m acting like and ass you’re still willing to spend the day with me. You’re one very strange man, Steven.”

Steve smiled in relief. “Well, it takes one to know one…” He said with a shrug. “So, what do you say?” He asked, looking hopefull.

Danny just rolled his eyes. “Alright, let’s go eat those pancakes and then go to my place to find some clean clothes. I don’t want to go to work in your sweats and ratty T-shirt tomorrow.” He said, moving to the kitchen.


	14. Foreign

After that, things went more smoothly. Danny rested for a full day at Steve’s house and had another full night of sleep before getting back to work. Things went back to normal for a few days, up to the point when Grace started asking Danny to help her train for the President’s physical fitness medal.

The truth was that Danny would do anything for his daughter, and he was used to running at work, but when it came to running long distances, he was awful at it. He knew that if he practiced with Grace he would only hold her back, so he asked his friend, his partner, to help her train for the test.

So it was a terrible surprise to hear that while Steve and Grace had been practicing, someone had stolen Steve’s car, and that Steve’s first reaction was to run after the car, leaving Grace alone in the street.

He had tried to be sympathetic to Steve’s situation, he knew the car meant a lot to him, but all he could think about was Grace, alone in the street, and all the things that could have happened to her while she was there.

It took him until the end of the day to finally accept that Steve had done what he thought was best at the time, that he’d only left her for 5 minutes at most and that he’d made sure that Grace was careful through that time.

He’d been on edge all day, and biting Steve’s head off at every chance he had, so he thought it was time to make amends. “Hey guys, the next round’s on me.” He said, not wanting the celebration for Grace’s medal to end, so he stood from the table and moved to Kamekona’s truck.

He ignored Steve’s comments and focused on Flippa, ordering drinks for everyone. He took a beer for himself and was about to go back when a familiar accent stopped in his tracks. _“Yes, thank you very much.”_ Said a male voice in a foreign accent. A Latin accent.


	15. Film

Danny automatically reached for his gun, realizing too late that he didn’t have it with him at the moment.

Suddenly it all started to look like a film that was passing in front of his eyes. The beer he was holding dropped from nerveless fingers and all of a sudden a big figure had placed a large arm over his shoulders, leading him away from everyone. _“Come on, little haole. Looks like you need some air…”_ The familiar voice said. He was led to a table and made to sit on a bench. The same voice asked someone else to _“bring Mcgarrett”_ and suddenly Steve’s face was in front of him.

“Danny? What’s going on? Talk to me partner…” He couldn’t tell how long Steve had been talking to him, but at some point his words started to make sense.

Danny looked around, not seeing the face he was sure had to be near. “Reyes… He was here… Heard’im…” Danny muttered in a shaky voice.

Steve looked around in concern, silently cataloguing every person sitting around them. Then he turned around to look at Danny. “Where did you hear him, Danny? Where was he?” He asked.

Danny was starting to come back to himself a bit more, so he looked around as well, trying to remember. "He was ordering food, he was at my side when I was ordering the drinks."

Steve looked up at Kamekona, but the big man didn’t back Danny’s story. “The guy’s from Ecuador. He’s here with his wife and two keikis, out here on vacation for two weeks, he’s stopped by a couple of times. Good guy, nice tips…” Kame said, nodding in the direction of a table with a couple, a little girl and a baby carriage. He took a glass of water from Nahele and passing it to Steve.

Danny looked at the table as well, shaking his head in confusion. “I… I was sure it was him…” He said in a puzzled tone.

Steve sat at his side, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Danny. Reyes is dead, remember?” He asked gently. Directing Danny to drink the water.

Danny nodded, passing a trembling hand down his face. “I k-know… I just… I heard him…” He said in a bewildered tone.

Steve squeezed Danny’s shoulder in comfort. “It’s ok Danno. I think we’d better go home, ok?” He said in the same gentle tone.

Danny could only nod in agreement, not really knowing what was wrong with him.


	16. Actor

Danny brought up his best abilities as an actor when they came back to their table. Steve announced that they were taking off, and Danny was all smiles as he said goodbye to everyone.

The mask was almost shattered when Grace told him that Samantha had invited her to a sleepover at her place. After worrying all day about what could have happened to Grace, the thought of her spending the night somewhere else made his breath hitch for a moment, and he would have freaked out completely if it wasn’t for Lou, who placed a big arm around his shoulders, turning him away from the girls. “Come on Danny, let the girls have some fun. I’ll keep an eye of them!” He said loudly, patting Danny’s back. “I promise she’ll be safe, man… You need some time to sort yourself out. I’ll look after her while you do that…” He said in a much softer tone, so the girls couldn‘t hear him.

Danny looked up at Steve, who was nodding in agreement, so with a deep fortifying breath, he turned to his girl with the mask firmly in place. “Ok Monkey. Have fun, and if Sam starts talking about boys, you call me, ok?” He said, pulling Grace into a hug.

Grace giggled, giving her dad a big hug. “Promise, Danno. Thanks!” She said in excitement, with a big smile on her face.

Danny watched Grace leave with Lou and Samantha and then got into the passenger side of the Camaro with a tired sigh. “Alright, lets go…” He said in a defeated tone.


	17. Key

They drove in silence to Danny’s place. Steve not wanting to do anything that may upset his friend and Danny just trying to understand why he had reacted so dramatically to a guy with a latin accent ordering food for his family.

Once they got to Danny’s place he got out of the car and headed to the door, not even bothering to tell Steve to go home. He was sure his Partner would stick to him like glue after the little scene at Kamekona’s.

He was focusing on trying to get the key into the keyhole, so he didn’t notice Steve coming up behind him. “Need any help, Danno?”

Danny jumped, dropping the keys with a curse. His hands were still shaking, and Steve startling him only made it worse. “Shit! What the hell are you doing?!” He yelped.

Steve crouched to pick the keys for Danny, helping him to rise as well and keeping a calming hand on his shoulder. “Sorry Danno, why don’t we go inside, have a couple of beers?” He said gently, propelling Danny into the house.

Danny moved to his living room with a tired chuckle. “I think I have some scotch in the kitchen…” He said, plopping himself on the couch.


	18. Picture

Danny sat on his couch for a few minutes, looking aimlessly around his living room. From the noises coming from the kitchen he could tell that Steve was cooking something, not that he'd make an effort to eat MRE’s or any other strange concoction his partner came up with.

His gaze was drawn to a shelf holding family pictures right over the TV. He noticed with a frown that one of them was turned down, so he stood from the couch to put it back in its place.

He froze at the sight of Matt smiling a huge smile, holding Grace, who had her princess costume and matching tiara.

Grace looked about 4 or 5 years old, so it must have been from Halloween 2006. Danny remembered that Matt got a Prince costume for him, and they all went out trick or treating with Grace' cousins.

Danny studied Matt's expression, wondering at how things had changed in such little time. He was starting to come to terms with the fact that Matt made his own decisions, and that there was nothing he could have done to change his brother's actions, but he couldn’t deny that he had failed as a brother, otherwise Matt would have come to him to ask for help instead of stealing money from a drug cartel and run around the world until he got caught.

He heard Steve returning from the kitchen and moved back to the couch, leaving the photo where it was. Steve was carrying a tray with two sandwiches and two beers, which he placed on the coffee table one next to the other. “Alright, I did what I could with what you had in the fridge, Danno…” He said, motioning for Danny to start eating.

Danny raised his eyebrows looking at the food. “What happened with the scotch?” He asked.

Steve rolled his eyes. “It’s too early for scotch, and besides, we need to talk, so you have to be somewhat sober for that…” He said, sitting next to Danny on the couch and digging into his sandwich.

Danny sighed and started picking at his sandwich. He seemed to gather himself for what he was about to do and with a deep breath he turned to look at his partner. “Steve, what happened with the 18.5 million that we took to Colombia?” He asked, not sure if he wanted to know the answer.


	19. Hat

Steve was about to take a bite out his sandwich when Danny asked his question, so he put it back down and turned to look at his friend with a frown. “Why are you asking me that, Danny?”

Danny looked down, picking up his beer to take a long pull out of it. “I don’t know… I- after Reyes, everything else is kind of a blur. I know you got us both out of there, then we were in a ratty hotel, and then inside a plane on the way back home. I have no idea what happened with the money, and I think I need to know…”

Steve shook his head, reaching to take a drink from his beer as well. “I took care of the money, Danno, you don’t need to know what happened to it.” He said with a shrug.

Danny shook his head quickly, standing to pace across the room. “No, that’s where you’re wrong. I do need to know, because I have a feeling that someone is going to come looking for that money, and I need to know what happened to it when they do!” He said heatedly.

Steve moved to stand in front of his partner. “Danny, nobody is going to come looking for the money, and if they ever do? You tell them to come looking for me. End of story.”

Danny opened and closed his mouth a couple of times before he could actually find his words. “Seriously? You expect me to just send them your way when they come looking? What, you just shoved it into a magic hat and you’ll just pull it out when they come asking?” He asked loudly, waving his hands around in indignation.

Steve nodded, apparently pleased with Danny’s theory. “Yes, that is exactly what I did, so that’s exactly what you’ll tell them if they come knocking at your door.” At Danny’s incredulous look, Steve sighed, trying to calm himself down. “Danny, I have Jerry checking for anyone that enters the island that may have connections with Reyes. If anyone come looking, we’ll be ready for them before they strike, ok? I promise you have nothing to worry about…” He said pleadingly.

Danny didn’t look convinced, but he knew he wouldn’t get anything out of Steve right then. “Ok, you can keep your secrets. I’ll get it out of you another day…” He said with a tired sigh, moving to eat his sandwich.


	20. Columns

Danny ate quietly for a few minutes, looking pensive. Once he was done, he started playing with the label on his beer bottle, seeming to be debating something in his head.

Steve just gave him time, knowing that Danny wouldn’t have any trouble voicing his thoughts once he had them all figured out.

Sure enough, Danny put the bottle down and turned to look at his partner. “Ok, I give. You’ll have to tell me how the hell you do it.” He said earnestly.

Steve raised his eyebrows. “How do I do it? How do I do what?” He asks in confusion.

Danny blew a tired breath, trying to find the words to express his thoughts without making a mess out of everything. “I just don’t get it. Less than 2 months ago you were… Well, you know… that whole Wo Fat mess…” He said, waving his hand around to avoid saying what had happened. “And now it’s not exactly as if nothing has happened, but you’ve moved on, you sleep at night, and you seem fine! Meanwhile, I can’t seem to go a week without throwing some kind of tantrum or acting like a trauma victim!” He said indignantly, shaking his head in bewilderment.

Before Steve could voice his objections, Danny just carried on. “No, don’t tell me that it’s different, because I lost Matt. You saw your Dad, you thought that he was alive, don’t try to convince me that you didn’t. Besides, you never really got to grieve for him, so you don’t get to say that you had time to deal with it! So I want to know what is it that you do to deal with this shit! Do you put stuff in something like columns, like this is the good stuff, and this gets to stay, and one this other column is all the crappy stuff, so that has to go? Do you meditate thinking about rainbows and unicorns? Do you smoke weed? What?” He asks, moving to start pacing again.  

Steve shook his head needing a minute himself to find the words that would help his friend. “Do you really want to know what helped me go through this whole mess with Wo Fat and Doris?” He asked. At Danny’s nod, he continued. “I don’t know man. They teach you stuff at the Academy, techniques, sort of speak, to deal with bad stuff. Mostly keeping busy helped, but also, I have this friend that wouldn’t leave me alone for the first few days. After that, he was always there if I needed him. He was there if I wanted to stay still and quiet, he was there when I needed someone to shout at, and he was there when I needed someone to listen. I also had my Ohana at my back every step of the way…” He said with a small smile.

Danny just shook his head, not really believing Steve’s words. “Keeping busy and talking won’t fix anything…” He said, looking away.

Steve seemed to agree. “Yeah, especially when you talk about everything but the real issue, Buddy.”

Danny just threw him an incredulous look. “Trust me, you don’t want to hear me talking about the real issue!” He ground out, moving towards the backyard door. “You can show yourself out. Thanks for your help.” He finished in a flat voice, moving outside and leaving Steve alone in Danny’s living room, trying to figure out how to help his friend.


	21. Towel

To an outsider it would be surprising to know that Steve was not really good at following orders, especially when those orders were detrimental to the wellbeing of those he cared about. That’s why he chose to interpret Danny’s dismissal as a request to move out of the living room and into the kitchen.

He busied himself washing the dishes from his and Danny’s meal, and then picking a kitchen towel to dry them and put them back in the cabinet where he’d gotten them from.

After he was done, he took a peek out of the kitchen backdoor. Danny was pacing back and forth restlessly. He would stop for a moment, pass a hand through his hair and then resume his pacing. In the middle of his pacing he found himself to the large punching ball hanging in the corner of the backyard, so he hits it once, softly. Then he hits it again, with a bit more force, and all of a sudden he’s pummeling the damn punching bag with all he’s got.

Danny was so focused on inflicting as much pain as he could to the punching bag that the ever noticed Steve moving to hold it steady, the kitchen towel hanging from his shoulder, looking at his partner in concern.


	22. Hate

Danny kept hitting the punching bag over and over again, not really caring that he was not wearing anything to protect his hands. He just needed to punch something until he couldn’t punch it anymore.

He finally exhausted himself, slumping to his knees and still hitting the bag halfheartedly. “I hate him…” He said hoarsely, breathing heavily.

Steve frowned, letting go of the bag and crouching at Danny’s side. For some reason he had a hunch who he was talking about. “No you don’t…” He said gently, reaching to pat his partner’s back.

Danny shook his head closing his eyes. “Stupid asshole! What was he thinking, huh? He thought he was pulling the greatest con, and he ended up- Stupid, stupid asshole!” He growled, punching the bag again. “I hate him…”

Steve shook his head. “No Danno, he was your brother, you could never hate him…” He said, moving his hand up and down Danny’s back.

Danny sniffed, leaning his head against the punching back. “I want him back… I want him alive and I want him to never have done anything illegal, and I want Reyes to never have met him, and… And I want all of this to be just a nightmare… I don’t want this anymore. I want my little brother back!” He said, punching the bag to make each of his points.

Steve just stayed there, crouching by his friend’s side, knowing that the only thing he could do was to be there for himright then.


	23. Ornament

After a couple of minutes Danny’s knee was reminding him that kneeling on the floor was not its favorite position, so with a groan Danny stood up and with a last halfhearted punch, he moved to one of the lawn chairs nearby. He lowered himself with another groan, passing his hand tiredly down his face, wiping tears and sweat along the way.

He ignored Steve for the moment, knowing that his partner would find his way to the chair next to the one he was sitting any minute now. His attention was drawn to the box full of Christmas ornaments sitting in the corner.

Just a couple of days ago he had scrambled to put away the Christmas tree, shoving the few crystal balls and the bunch of plastic ones into the box, dragging the tree outside so the garbage truck would take it away in the morning and putting the box in a corner of the backyard, just out of sight, intending to throw it in the attic when he had the time.

He smiled a bit at the sight of an angel made of bright wrapping paper, with a glass marble for a head and a crooked halo. Grace had given it to him a few years ago as her Christmas present. She had made a bunch of them, giving them to her grandparents, aunts and uncles. Matt had placed his in the most visible shelf in his living room, and kept it there the whole year round, telling everyone that asked that his niece had made it for him.

Steve chose that moment to come closer, bearing two ice packs in his hands. He crouched at Danny’s side, studying his bruised knuckles with a worried expression. “Does anything feel broken or just sore?” He asked gently, placing one of the ice packs on his partner’s hand.

“Just sore, don’t think I broke anything…” Danny said quietly, letting Steve fuss over him a bit after his little scene.

For some reason the angel ornament reminded Danny of Steve’s fridge, covered in Grace’s drawings, of the weird shaped pencil holder that found its permanent place on Steve’s desk, and the picture frame decorated with pasta that found its place between Steve’s family photos.

Danny looked at Steve, still trying to wrap the icepack on his hand. He had been too distracted by his grief to realize that in the time since Matt had taken off, he had gained another brother. He lifted his hand to stop Steve’s movement. “Thanks babe…” He said with a small smile, feeling grateful for much more than just the icepacks.

 


	24. Ocean

Steve seemed surprised at Danny's words."you're welcome, buddy." He said quietly.

His only concern had been caring for the hurts he could fix right then, but he knew that there was so much more he couldn't fix, and it worried him to see his friend hurting.

Danny lowered his eyes, studying his scrapped and slightly swollen knuckles. "So I guess this wasn't my brightest idea..." He said with a tired sigh, opening and closing his fists to relieve some of the ache on his hands.

Steve smiled, shaking his head. "I don't know about that. Remember that time you tried to make cupcakes for Gracie? I'd say that was a worse idea than this one!" He said with a shrug.

Danny chuckled, shaking his head. "Yeah, but only because I borrowed your kitchen." He said, which earned him a chuckle and a nod in agreement from his partner.

He leaned back against the chair, breathing tiredly. At times the grief he felt over losing Matt, over failing his family and putting everyone in danger, felt like a huge weight on his shoulders, like an ocean trying to drown him with no one near to pull him out, but then either Steve, or Grace, or someone from his Ohana would show up and pull him out of the depths.

He looked up at Steve, suddenly remembering something. "Hey, didn't I ask you to leave?" He asked in surprise.

Steve raised his eyebrows in surprise. "You did? I don't think I heard you..." He said with a shrug.

Danny rolled his eyes, looking amused. "We'll, I'm glad you didn't, buddy..." He said with a smile.


	25. Naked

Danny sat in thought, only moving to rub the pads of his thumbs against his sore knuckles from time to time.

He knew Steve would stick around, and that his partner would wait him out until he could bring himself to start talking, but Danny was scared of what he would say.

He felt that if he started talking he would say too much, he would end up naked in the middle of a stage, with a whole crowd judging and criticizing every one of his moves.

Then again, this was just Steve, who had gone through so much himself, and Danny knew his friend would never judge him unfairly and would never criticize him pettily, at least on the things that mattered.

With that thought in mind, Danny turned to face his partner. "I keep seeing Matt in my dreams. They're killing him, or he's already dead and he looks up at me to ask why didn't I come for him." He says softly.


	26. Hair

Danny talked about Matt’s death, about Reyes, about his worries about the money and about how much he blamed himself for everything that had happened.

At one point he needed to do something to avoid losing himself in the horrors inside his head, so he lifted his hands to his head and tangled his fingers in his hair, tightening his hold every few seconds to pull at it, needing the short bursts of pain to remind himself that he was home and safe.

He opened his eyes after a while, surprised to find Steve sitting in front of him on the coffee table instead of at his side, as he was before. He could also see his lips moving, but it took him a minute to figure out what he kept repeating. “You’re alright, Danno… You’re alright. It’ll be fine…” Steve kept saying while alternating between squeezing Danny’s shoulder or pat his knee.

Danny breathed something between a laugh and a sob, knowing that he was anything but alright, but at the same time, he started to realize that with Steve and his Ohana’s help, he may be some day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about dropping this, but I was out of town and didn't manage to write anything in the last few days. I hope to catch up in the next few days!


	27. Action

Steve always thought of himself as a man of action. He didn’t usually need to think things through before he was moving to take out any threat that he could perceive. It was not that he didn’t usually think before he acted, it was that he seemed to be good at adapting at any given situation as soon as they arose.

However, there were a few situations for which Steve was not readily prepared, and one of them was seeing Danny as the one in need of support and comfort.

He knew all about grief and survivor’s guilt. He could see that Danny was suffering both right now, and maybe something worse that he refused to acknowledge right then. But while he had dealt with these issues himself more than once both in his professional and personal life, he didn’t really believe that his approach to deal with them would help Danny in any way.

Still, he was never one to stand in the sidelines, so he would be by his partner’s side, helping in any way he could, until Danny found his way out of whatever dark hole he was stuck in. He was just glad that Danny was letting him help.


End file.
